So this shaping up thing is just not working out. I mean really, how many weeks do I need to continue posting my failures here before I figure out I need to STEP IT UP.

Jeeeeeez, woman. Get with it.

I can’t even step on my scale today because I’m totally PMSing and feeling fatter than EVER . I might just burst into tears if I even see the scale this morning. (Either that or rip its insides out and run them over with my car.)

Does anyone want to do this with me? This whole shape-up thing? Let me know because I think I could use some support by now (obviously). Ha!

To get myself through the day, I’m posting a few Fitness Myths from Stacy Berman, certified fitness trainer and founder of Stacy’s Boot Camp :

Fitness Myth #1: A 20 Minute Walk Will Change Your Body Shape

One common misconception is that walking 20 minutes a day 5 to 6 days a week is all you need to do to “be in shape.” This is definitely true if you want to lead a longer, healthier life. Your heart, lungs, muscles, and joints will be healthier. You, however, will not lose large amounts of weight, tone muscles, and make them look “better.” In order to change your body shape, a much more intensive plan will have to be instituted. This plan should incorporate dietary changes, weight lifting, and more intense cardiovascular training. All of these activities will be needed to make substantive changes in body composition.

Fitness Myth #2: Weightlifting Raises Resting Metabolism

Another common misconception is that if you lift weights and add muscle mass you will lose weight when sitting due to a higher metabolism. Scientific studies of muscle metabolism have conclusively shown that skeletal muscle burns about 13 calories per kilogram of body weight over a 24 hour period. If a man weighs 70 Kg (154 Lbs), has about 28 Kg of skeletal muscle will burn about 22% of the calories his body uses through the day. Adding 4 pounds of muscle bulk thru weightlifting, during a high intensity 6 month lifting program, would result in burning 24 more calories per day. One bite of an Oreo cookie contains about 24 calories.

This does not mean that weight training should be avoided. Weight training will result in higher lean body mass. This translates into more efficient fat metabolism for energy. Cellular membranes are more permeable to glucose, reducing the need for excess insulin in the blood.

Fitness Myth #3: Specific Exercises Will Cause Spot Reduction

Many exercise devices are marketed to spot reduce or spot tone a specific body part. The idea is that by using their device you will be able to tone the inner thighs, for example. This is simply not true. Muscles utilize blood glucose, cellular energy stores, and blood fat for energy. Fat is not pulled from the area it is stored in to serve as energy in its own “neighborhood.” Once blood glucose levels are low, a hormonal reaction is triggered to metabolize stored fat for conversion to glucose for energy. Fat deposits are tapped in multiple places around the body, not adjacent to the body part requiring the need for energy. The amount of toning is based on one’s genetic predisposition for muscle growth and fat storage. We can not change how our body is programmed to add muscle and store fat.

Fitness Myth #4: Lifting Heavy Weight Will Add Bulk

Adults, both male and female, may or may not become “bulky” when lifting heavy weight. Conversely, women are often told to lift light weights with high repetitions to avoid “bulk.” These both are determined by our genetics, not our lifting routine. Women are less likely than men to add tremendous bulk when lifting weights. High levels of specific hormones are necessary for muscles to add large amounts of bulk. The genetics of each individual determine who can add bulk and who can not. An extension of this is that “muscle bulk” will make you heavier, slower and lose quickness. All of these have been proven scientifically untrue.

Fitness Myth #5: Prepackaged, Processed “Diet” Foods Are Best for Weight Loss

Weight loss is only accomplished when you burn more calories than you consume. That is, you have to exercise more to accommodate for the typical American high fat, fast food based diet. Caloric restriction should not be the “diet” of choice. A proper diet be composed of a balance of fruits and vegetables, whole grain derived foods, limited fat consumption, limited sugar consumption, and limited alcohol consumption. A well balanced diet will help to keep cholesterol, blood pressure and blood sugar low.
Foods should be freshly prepared; prepackaged foods tend to have been leached of essential vitamins and minerals. Avoid fried foods, high fat foods (cheaper cuts of red meats, processed sausages, and fast food hamburgers). A general rule of thumb is that the cheaper the meat, the higher the fat content. Fat is cheap, that’s why a fast food hamburger can be sold at such a low cost.

And finally, this article from SHAPE called "The Secret to Weight Loss? Calories" is just what I needed to get my mind back on track.

I’m serious about wanting someone to do this with me— if you’re in, shoot me an email and LET’S DO IT!

Week 5, July 3rd:

Finally, some progress. (I won’t remind myself that it’s taken me FIVE WHOLE WEEKS to lose 3 pounds.)

This week I ate a lot of cottage cheese and strawberries. I’m also loving red apples with organic peanut butter (apparently this is Joe Jonas’ favorite snack, which Janey never fails to remind me each and every time I prepare it).

This week I’m upping my cardio to 45 minutes per day for 7 days straight. Let’s see if that gets me results.

Have a super fun and happy 4th of July, everyone.

Week 4, June 26th:

I should just call this—Make Up Bag Wants to Shape Up but is Failing Miserably: Week 4

I sort of knew this was going to be a bad week.

Thanks to PMS I have been non-stop hungry. Even though I have been working out and taking an extra walk each evening, it apparently wasn’t quite enough to make up for those Doritos. Ha!

So much for the 142 I promised myself last week.

Have I mentioned that I won’t be defeated?

Week 3, June 19th:

WTF?

This is the week that I actually made a real effort and the scale went the wrong way. Gah!

Have you heard of Fit Flops ? They’re a line of fitness footwear that give you a workout while you walk. It sounds crazy, I know, but they totally work. You can actually feel your muscles engage when you wear them.

I don’t wear them out of the house much (except to walk the dogs) because they’re seriously FUG— especially for girls with wide feet like mine. But to shape up your legs while you’re just doing your thing around the house? BRILLIANT.

I’ve also been logging in daily to Allure’s Total Makeover . The Total Makeover section is one of my favorites—I always turn there first when I get a new issue to see the progress of the participants. It’s seriously motivating to see how these girls are transforming themselves. And dammit, I am going to be transformed too!

For this week, I’m upping my game plan. Watch out, scale. Next week you’ll be reading 142.

(Sorry for the grainy photo taken with my Blackberry. Bailey took my camera to a friend’s house and FORGOT IT THERE.)