No, I was not eaten by an alligator in the swamps of Florida. However, after what I’ve endured the last few days, the mouth of an alligator sounds rather comforting.
Without going into all the horrific details, I’ve just escaped from the worst experience of my life. If bugs creep you out, you should probably just close your browser right now—but if you think you can handle it, I’ve recapped my last 48 hours in bullet points below (because I like to be succinct). (This is where you laugh because—JUST LOOK AT THOSE BULLET POINTS. Each one is a novel.):
- Attended the ISPA Opening Reception and had a lovely dinner with my friend Kristen.
- On the way back to my Disney waterfront hotel, I spend nearly an hour on the phone with Michelle from All Lacquered Up (whom I’ll be meeting up with tomorrow in NYC along with several other rockstar beauty bloggers for an event I can’t wait to tell you about).
- I finally go into my hotel room and see that my husband and 5-year-old have fallen asleep together while watching cartoons. Not wanting to wake them, I get comfortable on the other bed, answer some emails and eventually fall asleep.
- 2:30 am I wake up suddenly—feeling very itchy—and find myself being eaten alive by tick-like bugs crawling between the sheets.
- After screaming, I frantically pull back the sheets of the other bed (where my husband and daughter are sleeping) and find more bugs.
- Big. Fat. Bedbugs.
The next day is a blur of hotel staff disposing of our luggage, quarantining our clothing (all of it) and forcing us to walk around in Disney-logo attire. (This part is quite funny as the sight of my husband in Mickey Mouse sweatpants is priceless.)
I’m happy to say that while I’m still covered in annoyingly itchy red bites, the nightmare is over and I’m on my way to New York as I type.
If you happen to be at La Guardia airport this evening, I’ll be the one with the Disney luggage wearing a Pirates of the Caribbean sweatshirt. However, thanks to MD Skincare and the amazing facial treatment I received at ISPA, I have super glowy skin, which makes any outfit (including Disney) look better.